True Love Will Wait
Guest Post by: Barbara Boliere
At the age of 18 I made a decision to save sex for marriage and it has been one of the best decisions that I have ever made! Not only do I avoid those confusing emotions that accompany sex, but I am exempt from dealing with the consequences that sex outside of a committed marriage can bring. But you know what? My life was not always like this!
Growing up, sex was never spoken about… until I entered into junior high school. Here, the pressures to have sex were EVERYWHERE and abstaining was just one of those things you were NOT encouraged to do. The pressure intensified when I entered into a relationship with a sophomore during my first year of high school. After I lost my virginity to him, I found out that I was not the only person he was sexually involved with while we dated. My insecurities led me to settle with the drama that accompanies relationships when they are not built on a stable foundation. My attitude, bad decisions and rude responses only made these matters worse!
Being naïve, I remained in this relationship for four years, convincing myself that all guys cheat as a justification for me to stay with him. In truth, I did not think anyone was willing to love me and I was extremely insecure. After getting saved, I convinced myself that marrying him would be my best bet. In fact, it seemed to be the best option to end the convictions that overwhelmed me whenever I would have sex with him. Fortunately God had other plans! In the end I knew I had to bring this compromising relationship to an end. Five years later I am able to share this story with you as I commit my singleness to Christ.
Through working at Abstinence Between Strong Teens International, Inc., I am able to help today’s youth not make the same mistakes I did. This experience has showed me that building relationships without sex is not only worth it, but it’s possible! When couples save sex for marriage, they are able to get to know each other in greater depths emotionally, mentally, spiritually and so forth. Sex then becomes the final step to reach an even greater level of intimacy when two people marry and commit to each other faithfully.
As a single, I do get approached by men who are interested in dating me, but I keep my standards raised and my boundaries high! Using my discernment helps me learn where to categorize them in my life.
Surrounding myself around people that keeps me accountable also help me tremendously! As I surrender my life to God, He shows me which decisions are good for me. Regardless of my past, I know that I will be kept safe if I let Him lead me. Proverbs 3:5-6 has never steered me wrong and I know that true love will wait.
Barbara Boliere is the Youth Development Coordinator at Abstinence Between Strong Teens International, Inc. (ABSTI) in Miami, Florida. This nonprofit organization teaches youth the importance of saving sex until they enter a committed marriage, helping them completely avoid the risks associated with sex. Barbara enjoys equipping youth with the knowledge and skills necessary for them to make wise decisions as it relates to relationships, marriage and sex and she also mentors young girls to help them embrace their self-worth.