Sewing and Reaping: Sexuality and Commitment
Guest post by Kala Wilburn
As a fashion architect, I started sewing at the early age of 12. Sitting in the dining room watching my grandfather use the sewing machine to fix holes in his socks and pants intrigued me. I didn’t know it then, but he exposed me to a gift that God had given me at a very early stage in my life. Almost 16 years later, after taking many alternate routes, I found that the fashion industry is where I belonged. Many family members did not agree with my path of choice. They wanted me to be a doctor or lawyer, one of those career paths that guaranteed mega bucks! I wanted to walk in what I knew, what I knew I was here to do… I was committed to this vision God had shown me in a late night dream.
When I began sewing, I would make things using the knowledge that I possessed at that very moment in time. The first thing I made was a small denim handbag, created using recycled fabric from an old Eddie Bauer men’s button-down shirt. I began to make costumes for our dance group when we performed at the high school talent shows. I had no knowledge of fabric stores, so I went to local dollar stores and used many bandannas to create outfits. This lack of knowledge left me to use what I knew, but the results created almost embarrassing experiences I could never forget. I was performing one day with the side of my shirt constructed with safety pins. The pin popped in the middle of a move while dancing to “Survivor” by Destiny’s Child. I danced the rest of the song holding my shirt so I would not be exposed. It was such a close call. I now can laugh about this, but at that moment I could not.
I have now been a designer for many years. I know where to find fabric, I have worked with many great companies and even had things I designed in major department stores. I have stayed committed to the process of developing and I am now beginning to reap the benefits of blessing the world with God’s gift of sewing. My journey has not been easy, and many days I have wanted to give up but my passion along with the vision God gave me keeps me going.
God has given us all a vision that we are trying to achieve on earth. At different periods in our lives, the focus may change but the dream never leaves. He gives us instructions that lead and guide us to these visions. Sometimes we obey, but not always. I can remember plenty of times I disobeyed God’s commandments. I later realized that his word and order were put into place to keep us from hurt and pain.
Like my journey in sewing, my Christian walk has not been an easy one. When God calls you to be set apart, it seems like you are alone. You have to be willing to stand on His word even when no one else does. I wasn’t as bold in my walk in my young adult days. I was easily persuaded and l did not understand the ways of God. I found myself in sexual sin and horrible relationships on my quest to find love. All the while God was trying to get my attention by showing me how much he loved me. My life fell apart just so that he could build me up again.
I believe that God wants us to sow and reap in this life we live. He also wants us to obey His instruction as it keeps us in the will of God. God has many commandments in the bible. No sex before marriage and the idea that once a man and woman become one they are not to break the covenant they made before God. Many of us have been a part of fornication and even Christians make up a big percentage of the high divorce rate of today. Before I became married I took part in sexual sin before my husband. Thank God for His grace and mercy. My husband and I decided that we would commit our relationship to God. We waited until our honeymoon to enjoy the sexual pleasure God created for marriage. Were we tempted? Of course! But we were committed to keeping our vow to God.
Commitment is something we must do to God and His word. That does not mean we will not mess up at times. Like me when I started as a young seamstress, our lives are perfected as we grow and learn at the many levels of the life we live. We are all learning everyday. Maybe you think your life looks like the first costume I created- oh, was it a mess! But as you stay committed to the plan God will give you revelation and understanding of his word. He will open up your mind as he did for me when I discovered the fabric store. Once I discovered it I said “Why did you not show me this sooner?” It was not time. We have to develop a relationship with God so that He continues to keep our passion aflame.
Many times I would read the bible with no understanding. I would read the chapters and still feel like I had no idea what God was saying. But as I studied more and opened up my heart to His love I would understand more daily. Once you understand that he has an undying agape love for you, you will begin to live a God-committed life on purpose.
I began to heed to his instruction because I started to realize He was keeping me from hurt and pain.
We have to count the costs of the decisions we make outside of the will of God. Staying in sexual sin and not being committed to God’s plan will lead you astray. Remember, now is the time to sow by doing what the Holy Spirit leads you to so that later you will see how God was preparing you for that moment. There is no way I could create a garment for a client correctly today (without safety pins… Ha!) without going through the process and failing and trying again and again. We must stay committed even when our dreams don’t take a path we expected or our finances don’t line up with the word you are speaking over your life. Stay committed until God’s word manifests in your life. Don’t fall victim to the enemy of being impatient. God is not a man that He should lie.
Always remember that there is an audience of one- God. Strive everyday to love more like Christ, unconditionally, no matter how anyone treats you. Like a special custom-made garment, your life is custom made. There is no one like you! Your life was created before you were even on earth. You, not your custom life, are being altered to fit into it. This process will happen for a lifetime. So don’t beat yourself up, just stay grounded in the word and committed to God. Love always!
Kala Santrese Wilburn is a fashion architect who strives daily to do the will of God! She is the owner and designer of Fannie Lucille, a custom handbag and apparel company. Kala is also the founder of the Fashion Against Violence movement which exposes youth to the fashion industry while creating a zero-tolerance for violence in communities.